Found this:--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“If it is ON, it must be turned OFF.”
“If it is OFF, it must be turned ON.”
“If it is FOLDED, I must UNFOLD it.”
“If it is liquid, then it must be SHAKEN, and then SPILLED.”
“If it is solid, then it must be CRUMBLED, CHEWED, or SMEARED.”
“If it is HIGH, it must be REACHED.”
“If it is SHELVED, it must be UNSHELVED.”
“If it is POINTED, I must run with it at top speed.”
“If it has LEAVES, they must be PICKED, and THROWN.”
“If it is PLUGGED, it must be UNPLUGGED.”
“If it isn’t RUBBISH, it must be THROWN away.”
“If it is RUBBISH, it must be REMOVED, INSPECTED, and then THROWN on the floor.”
“If it is CLOSED, it must be OPENED.”
“If it DOESN’T open, it must be SCREAMED at.”
“If it has DRAWERS, they must be EMPTIED.”
“If it WRITES, I must GRAFFITI every surface possible.”
“If it is FULL, it would be more interesting EMPTY.”
“If it is EMPTY, it would be more interesting if it was FULL.”
“If it is DIRTY, it must be played with and SMEARED all over me.”
“If it is a stroller, it MUST NOT be ridden in without PROTEST and MUST be pushed by me.”
“If it has a FLAT surface, it must be BANGED upon with any available object.”
“If mummy’s hands are FULL, I must be CARRIED.”
“If mummy is in a HURRY, and wants to CARRY me, I must walk ALONE.”
“If it is PAPER, it must be RIPPED into tiny pieces, and then CHEWED.”
“If it has BUTTONS, they must be PRESSED repeatedly.”
“If the volume is LOW, it must be turned up HIGH.”
“If it is toilet paper, it must be UNROLLED on the floor, then left.”
“If it is a closed drawer, is must be PULLED open, and EMPTIED.”
“If it is a toothbrush, it MUST be put everywhere else except in my mouth.”
“If it is a TAP, it must be turned ON at full force.”
“If it is a PHONE, I must TALK to it.”
“If it is a BUG, it must be TASTED.”
“If it is FOOD it MUST NOT be tasted.”
“If it isn’t FOOD, it MUST be tasted.”
“If it is DRY, it must be made WET with DROOL, MILK or TOILET WATER.”
“If it is a CAR SEAT, it MUST be protested with an ARCHED back.”
“If it is a building block it MUST be dropped down the TOILET.”
“If it’s a newly changed nappy, it MUST be made DIRTY within 20 seconds of being put on.”
“If it’s MUMMY or DADDY, it should be IGNORED.”
“If it’s my older SIBLING, it MUST be TERRORISED.”
“If it’s a total STRANGER, it should be SMILED at, KISSED, and HUGGED.”
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14th February 2009, 5:41 am
